Leadership is often associated with traits like decisiveness, confidence, and vision. However, one quality that stands out, yet is sometimes overlooked, is empathy. As a leader, I’ve come to realise that empathy is not just a soft skill—it’s an essential one.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It involves being present with someone without judgment, connecting with their emotions by feeling with them, and offering solutions or advice when appropriate.
Empathy isn’t just about listening to what people say; it’s about listening to how they feel. In schools and in life, we do a lot of listening, but sometimes we don’t always hear what’s really going on. Empathy creates a space where we can genuinely understand others, connect with their emotions, and respond in a way that makes them feel valued and heard. It’s about creating a supportive environment where people feel comfortable sharing, knowing they’ll be understood.
When we are empathetic, we create an environment where people feel heard, respected, and valued. This, in turn, fosters better communication, collaboration, and problem-solving—three essentials to the success of any school environment.
I get it—understanding how people feel is important, but what about consequences? What about dealing with what’s really going on and not just making excuses for behaviour? I hear you, and I totally get that. But empathy doesn’t ignore behaviour or sweep things under the rug. It doesn’t avoid the bigger picture or ignore what needs to happen next. Instead, empathy creates a space that helps us deal with the issue, nurture relationships, and move forward. It’s about understanding that everyone’s experience matters, and that understanding helps guide what comes next.
When empathy is applied, it helps people put themselves in someone else’s shoes and approach situations with compassion and care. It creates an environment where people can share without fear of criticism. Empathy holds the weight of a situation with genuine care, validating what others are feeling instead of ignoring or dismissing it as irrelevant. It allows people to feel understood. When leaders practice empathy, it leads to positive outcomes—building trust, cooperation, and collaboration. It helps us embrace change, deal with consequences, and ultimately move forward in a way that fosters growth, rather than harbouring frustration or the “what if” scenarios of “if I had just…”
Leadership comes with a variety of moving parts, and beyond leadership, life presents challenges that stir up emotions. As much as it would be wonderful to press a magic button to fix everything, the truth is, we need to face each challenge as it comes. Empathy helps us understand that we don’t need a magical response to fix things; we simply need someone who helps us feel less alone in our struggles. We’re looking for connection and guidance on how to move forward in the best way possible, while feeling understood through everything that’s happening. It’s about creating space for understanding, connection, and managing what comes next.
When I think about leaders who adopt this approach, I’m drawn to Jesus. His leadership was all about meeting people where they were, listening deeply, and striving to understand their experiences. Jesus didn’t rush to offer solutions, but he also didn’t leave people where they were at. Instead, he took the time to ask questions and genuinely connect with others before responding. His leadership carried the essence of empathy, and I find this example incredibly powerful—it shows us how to lead with compassion and create genuine connections with those we serve.
I love this picture I came across in someone describing empathy. It goes like this: empathy is when someone is in a hole, and they shout from the bottom, “I’m stuck. It’s dark. I’m overwhelmed.” And we climb down and say, “Hey, I know what it’s like down here, and you’re not alone.” The truth is, rarely can a response make everything better. What truly makes a difference is connection. When we build that connection, we can take steps forward towards a solution, knowing we’re all on the same page and understanding the best way (not just the easiest way) forward for everyone.
Sarah Kapranov
head of Senior school (Girls)
Maranatha Christian School